Barely any love life update

Bingo Bango Bongo, yall my love life is completely ass,

So let's get right to it, 

why is it too much of an ailment for men to be chivalrous these days, 

yes I expect you to pick me up, 

yes I expect you to hold my purse,

 yes I expect you to walk on the outter side of the sidewalk,

 yes I expect you to continuously be a gentleman, not for a week, not for three months (you know who you are) I expect you to be a gentleman always. 

If that's too much, then I refuse the love and partnership you’re offering, if there was even any offer of that on the table,

I believe I deserve that,

 I deserve someone who constantly works for me as I would for them. 

 Materialistically I dont want much, maybe buy me tea and a singular flower, 

but truthfully I just want a partner, 

I can buy myself my own things there isnt anything a man can get me that I can't get by my own or work towards, but I do want something genuine.

 The mutual obsession, the puppy love, the tranquil love that comes briefly after, working towards something bigger than ourselves. 

  And I know that not everything is about love or having someone, I'm in my early twenties, I'm aware that I have the whole world at my doorstep, but.. Having someone check up on you daily, even though it might be the same response everyday, or not that entertaining, I’d hope to have someone who doesn't mind that, someone who loves every aspect of me, the fun, the sad, the boring, the erratic.

It felt like an easy task at first, because I’ve come to love myself very much , I’m aware of my internal issues, but i'm also aware of the fact that those are being worked on. I hope one day I can tell someone I love them without that underlying fear that i'm simply a moment. 

 Again I’ll reiterate, this isn't a priority, but I have noticed no matter how much I’ve healed, it's something I'll always want, I love love and everything that comes with it, good and bad.

 Maybe I'll read this in a few months or years and think, Mel, why are you so tunnel visioned sometimes,

it's not that I'm tunnel visioned, it's that I simply would like to have someone. And that's the truth, who knows maybe I just need to go on a trip again, romanticize this solitude for my benefit, wish me good luck, hopefully this feeling can go away as I mature. 

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